I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Randomize
