i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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