fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
