it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
