Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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