The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Randomize
