I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
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