lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize