Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Randomize
