I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
