how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
