Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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