Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Brb crying the tears of my youth
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
