I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
