Do vagina's smell?
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
