Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize