the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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