He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
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