i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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