In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
