Where is the hickey?
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Randomize
