So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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