roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
