Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
