Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
