I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Randomize
