you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Randomize
