Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
