my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize