He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Randomize
