i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Randomize
