we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Randomize
