I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
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