I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
