SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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