We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
