I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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