we made out on top of his cat.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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