Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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