I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
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