So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize