I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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