Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
