Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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