A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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