Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
