Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Randomize
