Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
