I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize