The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize