is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
