It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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