I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
