Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Randomize
