I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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