nut hugger
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
so let's talk penis.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
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