Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Randomize
