Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
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