Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
