I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize