I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I'm just crazy horny about you
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Randomize