Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
