found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
You pole danced in your parka.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize