Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
