Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
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