i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Randomize
