Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Randomize
