You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
