I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
