Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
How's work?
Spinning.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
