I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
