i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
