i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
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