just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize