it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
