Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Randomize
