I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I intend to get homeless drunk
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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