I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Randomize
