I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
