A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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