first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
