i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Edward fifth and chaser hands
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
