I wish I could punch you in the face.
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
